.thoughts.dreams.wishes.

Monday, January 22, 2007

people these days...

you know what really frustrates me? people! especially when you try and talk to your friends about something and all they do is talk shit about you and tell you what to do...not support you! that's all i wanted, support...not to be told what to do. and manipulating does NOT help!

i don't exactly think someone is a "true" friend when they tell you now to talk to a certian person... i just want to talk to who i want. it's harder when 2 people you really care about dont like eachother, it's like you don't wana talk to either one of them.......... AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Monday, January 08, 2007

The Government

Richard Nixon resigned,
and the Bush administration attacks the U.S. government.
Ronald Reagan's campaign combined traditional rituals with noisemakers.
Betty Bliar attacks refugees after September 11.
Hilliary Clinton turned 150 on January 18.
Ford weeps for various reasons.
Some say because looking back he was under appreciated.
Watergate Scandal was only 45 years ago.
James baker was orphaned and homeless.
Sudan's children said a final goodbye at 5:30.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Is it The End.. Or a New Beginning?

If you've read the past few blogs that I've written, you'll know that I'm trying really hard to get my life back in order and I'm leaning on my friends more than ever. They've given me so much support in the past year, and I know things wouldn't be the same without them! In the past year, my life went from one extreme to the next. From moving out of my mom's house to moving to my dad's, I've really grown up and learned a lot. I've had to take care of myself in ways I thought I really never would. This year to me.. is a new beginning. I'm not making promises to people I know I can't keep. I'm going to be who I want to be, not someone who everyone else wants me to be. I'm not going to try to make people happy anymore. If you don't like me, stay away from me. I've made new friends and I've gotten closer with old friends. I know how I am now, and I've mot afraid to be me.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Have you ever..

Have you ever done something you wish you could take back but know you cant? Or know someone will never forgive you if you tell them? Or you don't have anyone to tell this secret to because the only one you can tell is the one who won't listen? I have this secret and I don't know what to do with it. I know it will not ruin my life, but it just seems like I have this weird need to tell one person but this person would never forgive me. This detail about my life would change his opinion of me - in a bad way. It would change everyone's opinion of me. And I don't want that. Everytime I think about "this," I start to cry and wonder what I did.. and why?!?!?!

But I have elarned one thing - life goes on, nothing can be taken back. Live one day at a time - but live with no regrets! Someone once told me: "I take one day at a time, I don't look at tomorrow until it comes." I liked that but it also kind of scared me. I want to look at tomorrow but I also want to have fun today! My advice: Have fun, but not too much fun. Live life, but don't live it dangerously. Be nice, but don't be too nice or people will walk all over you. Stay safe, but don't be too uptight. It's okay to cry, just don't make it a habit. Lean on your friends, but don't weigh them down.

what do i do about my secret?

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Everything seems to be coming to an end!

Have you ever felt like everything is just coming to you in life? ugh! it seems like in the past couple days things have gone thru my mind like a million times. most things that i regret. in the recent weeks, i have done some pretty stupid things. a lot of things i don't know if i could forgive myself at this point.
have you ever felt like the only person you could ever talk to about anything and everything is standing right next to you but is so far away? that's how i feel. I have 3 or 4 best friends i can talk to about a lot of things. but there is one person i need to talk to and i just cant. this person doesn't give me the time of day anymore. i've screwed up a lot - and i realize i have to pay for my consequences, but sometimes it just seems so hard. if i would have seen all this happening about a month ago, i would have never done some of the things i've done.
some ppl just like to stab ppl in the back and i have realized that about a million times over as well. some say they are your friends and then 2 days later you realize they've done nothing but lie to you and say $!%@ about you behind your back!

just a thank you to my girls (Court, Meg, Sam, and Andrea) - i don't know what i would do with out you! I love you girls!


Merry Christmas Everyone!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Friends are a necessity

"Friends, they are a necessity in life. Some are and should be closer than others. A best friend is someone who you can share anything with. Someone who knows what your thinkin before you say it." -Mike

This quote is from Mike. I read this and realized that a best friend is someone you can share anything with. I've realized that I have surrounded myself with many friends and only a few good friends. Two friends that come to mind are Courtney and Andrea. I don't know what I would do with out them. Andrea, as you read in my previous post is one person I can call any day or any time. But, Courtney, will do anything to get the negative out of my life. - which is very funny at times. When someone comes to see me at 3 A.M. and she knows it's going to upset me, she threatens to beat this person up. (No names mentioned!) it was quite funny actually! But Courtney and Andrea are the 2 friends that I can rely on and know they are going to stay true as friends and I can count on them. They make me laugh, they take me out to get my mind off things, they do anything to get me out of my house instead of siting home thinking of stupid things! Some of the best memories I have are with the 2 of them and I would not change anything for the world! Thanks girls! I love you!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

For Andrea

Sometimes you go thru life and there are things that are more than a "bump in the road." I'm just recently getting my life back together from boyfriend troubles, life troubles, family troubles..and just troubles in general. I would like to say that I realized I only have a few good friends. One of them happens to be Andrea Butcher! Even though i've gone to her house crying or picked her up 1 A.M. because i needed to drive and get some sense knocked into me or just called her to tell her anything good or bad, she's always listened and made my day better. That's a TRUE Best Friend. She takes me shopping and doesn't care when i go the wrong way on the thru-way or doesn't care that i say the stupidest things sometimes. she's always there when i need her - from nights with friends, to boy troubles or good things to share, she's always there!

Thanks for evertying Andrea! I love you Best Friend!

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